This blog entry was originally posted on Advocates for Youth’s blog, Amplify Your The author is “Berrybeauty,” an adolescent from Nigeria. 

A few days back, when I was passing my neighbor’s house in school, I saw a small crowd of people gathered, and as I walked closer, I noticed Ivy, my neighbor, in the middle of the crowd, crying seriously. I couldn’t help but try and find out what was going on: miss lover girl had been beaten by her lover again.

That is exactly what brought up this topic: CRAZY LOVE.

I still can’t bring myself to understand why a beautiful young lady would give her beautiful body to be brutally beaten daily by some hoodlum called LOVER. The most devastating part is, when she is asked why she remains in the relationship, the answer would be ‘I LOVE HIM.’


What?! Love? What does love have to do with violence, brutality, and pain? Back then, when I was a lot younger, I was taught that love is respect. So why would the same man that loves/respects you inflict any source of pain on you, especially physical pain. Well, I was also taught that a gentleman never hits a lady; guess that makes it more explainable: your so-called lover is not just irresponsible and arrogant but also doesn’t love you.


If you are reading this today and having a lover who hits you, do have a rethink, because that thing you may call love just might be hatred and disgust. And if you’re a guy who hits a lady, try as much as possible to control yourself, and if not, seek help, because violence destroys, not repairs.

A comment on intimate partner violence and gender-based violence from the IYWG: 

Globally, as many as one in every three females has been beaten, coerced into sex, or abused in some other way. In most countries, sexual abuse or rape by an intimate partner is not considered a crime. Approximately 10 to 15 percent of women and girls experience forced sex with their intimate partner. According to the UNFPA, gender-based violence includes dating and courtship violence, economically coerced sex, sexual abuse in the workplace, rape, sexual harassment, and forced prostitution. The damaging effects of intimate partner violence on the health of adolescent girls can include unwanted pregnancies, complications from frequent high-risk pregnancies, sexually transmitted infections (including HIV), and psychological harm.


To learn about working with adolescent victims of sexual violence, read Meeting the Needs of Young Clients: A Guide to Providing Reproductive Health Services to Adolescents. Chapter 7: Counseling Victims of Sexual Violence or Coercion, written by FHI.